Why Men Keep Sex Secrets

Why Men Keep Sex Secrets...

You stood addled with anxiety, overwhelmed by concerns over your performance, and worried about the worthiness of your physique during lovemaking. Even if the act achieved the idealized statures of a Hollywood screenplay — she melted at your touch, you thundered like a stallion, you writhed in unison to volcanic climax — you still harbor suspicions: You’re pretty much sure you’re not getting it as often as everybody else.

“Great sex is in the eye of the beholder, or the be-hander,” says Patti Britton, a scientific sexologist and author of The Art of Sex Coaching. “For some men, it might be the aptitude to produce fantabulous manifold orgasms in their partner. For other men, it might mean being able to last three minutes. Being a great lover means becoming a great lover to your particular partner, and that needs doing something very difficult: opening your mouth.”

For creatures so well consumed by thoughts of sex, men remain remarkably confused about what countless sex is and how to have it. We’re shadowed by self-doubt, and clouded by myths and confusions. It’s not just about our mind-set. We men could also work on our mechanics. Mentally and physically, we’re hampered, hindered. We’re impeded on our path to greater sexual desire.

Right. The mouth. Useful for kissing and other verbally administered forms of arousal, it’s also a tool for message. Try it. Tell her what you want. Ask her what she likes. Bud for trust and openness.


“If you get to know yourself and your spouse, you’ll have a much more erotic and hotheaded sexual relationship,” says Joy Davidson, a New York-founded psychologist and sexologist, and the author of Fearless Sex.


When men do talk, they often puff themselves up to their peers. Less apt than women to debate their insecurities and more inclined to exaggerate their exploits, men paint one-sided pictures of their sex lives for one extra.

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